By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Hello my rib-scented angel!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
