As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
