hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
