Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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