at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
