I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You pole danced in your parka.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
