Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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