Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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