You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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