so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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