I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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