never play flip cup with pint glasses
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize
