Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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