Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
