How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
That was an excessively violent trivia night
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
