Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
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Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
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As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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