Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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