i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize