i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
