dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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