And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
