Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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