so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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