very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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