My hand turned me down
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
