Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
