eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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