she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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