my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
