My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
