Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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