This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
