If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
