my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Say something about gay babies.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
