Don't you send me to vm
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
