I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
