she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
