I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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