what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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