I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
