chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I still have a little drunk in my system
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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