You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
