Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
