Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
