it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Randomize
