Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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