i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
