HIV tests are more positive than that guy
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I cockslap morals
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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