I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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