She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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