she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
