I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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