Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
