I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
