We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
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I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
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do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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