Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize
