margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Someone signed my nipple.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
