Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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