help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
