I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
