I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
