I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Be still, my beating vagina.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
