no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
