I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
