Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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