I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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