My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
