my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
