im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
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sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
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Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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