Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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