you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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