Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
