New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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