I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
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