SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize