wrigley field is MILF paradise
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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