Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i love accidental penises.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
