Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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