I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
