dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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