You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize