we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
