He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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