But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
